If you’ve found yourself here, the chances are you are really struggling with the effects of your break up. Well fret not; you’ve come to the right place. Before you go any further I’ll quickly tell you my story and how I came to write this guide and more importantly – why you should take time to read it.
My hands were sweating, staring down at the floor to avoid the awkward silence. To outsiders, my three year relationship with my ex girlfriend was perfect and we were the golden couple. I myself knew the real truth and that our relationship had a time limit – and here it was.
Although it was mainly a mutual decision to end it, I was the one who seemed to struggle the most coming to terms with the situation. She moved on very quickly into another relationship, while my life proceeded to fall apart at an equally alarming rate. Death of a loved one, followed by a crippling debt and losing my job all got on top of me and I just could not cope.
I made all the mistakes that men make when going through a breakup. You name it I did it. My health, looks, dignity, self-esteem, confidence all took a knock in devastating fashion and I was by far the lowest I had ever been in my life. As I scoured the internet for some sort of help all I got was further disappointment. The advice was either misleading, weak or aimed mainly at women and I never felt more alone. As I began to heal at my agonizingly slow pace I decided to chronicle my thoughts, actions, and feelings – putting them in to words for a future reminder to myself, should I ever find myself in this position again. I became very intrigued by how many men shared my story and how they also allowed it to ruin their life.
Finally, the day came when I was free from the burden of heartache, I no longer thought about her. I’d picked my life up from the pits and I could see a better future for myself. Alas, I met another girl! She was gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, funny, she understood me – I’d really hit the jackpot with this one and was willing to change my life dramatically and move hundreds of miles away from home for her….
… Until the day she decided to suddenly dump me. Now to say this one was out of the blue would be the understatement of the century! I was completely crushed and I fell in to my old destructive habits from my previous breakup and history was starting to repeat itself. I was truly devastated and I could feel myself falling in to the person I was years before and it was a scary thought. Determined to not slip back – I read my previous notes/journal.
Although I dated this girl for a shorter length of time to girl number one, my feelings were much stronger for her. I thought we were going to last and I was not expecting for her to break up with me. I was more than aware of how badly my life could turn if I let it, so I had to fully commit to carrying out my own advice. It wasn’t easy – it was still fucking HARD, but after immersing myself in my notes I stayed true to myself and I was astounded with the results. I found that with the help of the guidelines, studies and affirmations I had made, I carried on with my life and the pain was much shorter lived than expected.
You see, when it comes to a breakup there is no short-cut when it comes to what you feel. But there IS a short-cut with regards to how long you feel it for. We really do make life harder than it needs to be.
Happy in my success, I decided to use my notes and transform them in to a guide for guys in the same situation. As stated on the FAQ’s girls are certainly welcome on this site, the guide is wrote in the voice of a guy to a guy because – I’m a guy! All people hurt after a relationship ends but I do believe that generally, men are pretty lousy at it and need a bit of direction…