Typically speaking, when a woman endures heartache, she calls upon her reliable network of friends and they arrange a meet-up in military fashion. She’ll talk, her friends will listen. She’ll cry, her friends will cry with her, while watching movies together and putting in a shift of boosting her vulnerable self-esteem. This is what is affectionately known as a ‘support group.’ A support group is basically a group of people, who provide each other with morale support in a time of need, and this is what you could do with right now.
Don’t worry… I’m not suggesting you call your Mate “Dave” up and demanding he hugs you while you cry together watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ with a tub of Ben n’ Jerry’s!! (Unless that sounds tempting, go knock yourself out). One of the reasons women heal faster after a breakup is the fact that they have an amazing network of people to talk to and confide in. Research shows that women tend to have more friends than men, due to their sociable nature and also that typically, men rely on romantic relationships for emotional support while women rely on their peers. Don’t believe me? Think hard about that friend of yours who you don’t hear from anymore since he got with his gal. Maybe you were that guy??
One thing to consider is you are NOT looking for pity. Nevertheless, you need SOME sort of support group. Typically, as a guy your first choice of a support group will be a group of guys who want to take you out and get beer down your neck in order to “just forget about her.” Although they mean well, you should approach this invitation with caution or you will find yourself drunk-dialing ‘whats-her-name’ or even worse – turning up at her door. Not cool.
At the same time, you don’t want to be boring the shit out of your peers by telling them how you are suffering more than anybody else in the history of man-kind right now. No matter how caring your friends or family are; there will come a point where it’s too much and you will only bring those people down with you. Definitely not cool.
You will also find that if you had that type of support group, you will receive a concoction of advice from different people who have had different experiences. You do NOT need to be confused right now. So what’s your option?
I decided to write this programme not only as a guide to faster healing, but also to create a candid support group for guys who are struggling with a break up. I had nobody to talk to when I was at my lowest and I found most of the online advice to be totally shit and detrimental to my healing. This guide and the ex girlfriend forum are the tools I wish I had when I was paralyzed with fear, sadness and most of all I felt like nobody understood.
On the forum you will have people who understand exactly how you feel and what you’re going through, (one of them being me) and nothing beats empathy when you’re miserable. That’s right, you don’t need sympathy – you need empathy! Not someone to say “poor you,” but for someone to say; “I understand how you feel.” That is way more powerful than receiving the puppy-dogged eye treatment and these are extremely powerful words when said and meant. You’ll witness people at different levels of a breakup than you are. You’ll see people ahead of you, or hopefully people way behind you and you’ll think to yourself “poor bastard, I remember when I was that screwed up.”
One breakup advice cliché I do agree with is writing your negative feelings out. It helps you to understand your feelings better and you’ll get to write your demons out on the forum without anybody judging.
I’m so confident in this guide that I truly believe you will witness success stories in the ex girlfriend forums that will inspire you to feel hope, get better and take control of your life. I will encourage you to mix with other guys as I look to build a community here. If you’re not ready for that yet, you can simply read other guys feelings on the forum and see if you can relate at all.
It’s important to choose a few days (when you are not at work or needed) to feel sad. That’s right; I want you to choose sadness. Allow yourself to be as miserable as possible, but make sure it’s within reason (and don’t fucking call her, please). It’s you’re right as a human to feel sad and it’s vital you acknowledge this emotion. Your male brain may try to hijack this and look for a distraction but trust me, running from your feelings on this will catch up on you. Plus, it’s only for two days.
. You’re not Bruce Willis and that’s just fine, although it would be pretty cool to shout “Yippee ka-yay, motherfucker!” while blowing shit up, this I can’t deny
. It’s ok to say “I’m struggling” sometimes and it doesn’t make you less of a man
. Women heal faster because they confide in their support group, your best support group is right here and the ex girlfriend forum because it’s full of people who understand how you feel.
A Polite Warning:
The next few pages of this guide are going to contain some written exercises that will take a few minutes. If you are anything like me, you might be tempted at this point to skip over the exercises and start reading the next chapter, especially if you are in a hurry or have had a shitty day. For your own sake, please don’t! I will tell you why.
When I first started learning about this topic, I was too quick to hear an idea, agree with it and move on to the next without really taking it in or taking action. I never stopped to actually experience it for myself or absorb the information, until it was too late. I think that on some level I thought I was maybe smart enough to understand it without writing anything down or doing anything that would change my feelings. There is no magic potion, gents.
You can easily forget information and you do not take in 100% of every written word you read. Writing down these activities will NOT take much time and they will get easier. I’m not asking you to do this for shits and giggles guys, I’m asking you to do it because I have 100% conviction it will help you! And that’s my job here, I won’t say it again. I’m giving you the tools that you need to get over your ex girlfriend and get on with your life as quickly as possible. It’s up to you if you want to use them. Peace out!
. Register absolutely free to the ex girlfriend forum and introduce yourself to the community. (You don’t have to use your real name, full anonymity will be respected if you desire). You aren’t alone, my sad friend.
**Please Note** After registering, check your junk mail for registration details. Also, ignore the grey toolbar that appears when you sign in. It’s worthless and I’m looking in to getting rid of it, thanks.
. Change your crazy-ass, spam paranoid, password to something more memorable in your profile when you’re all registered
. Choose sadness when alone for a few days, it’s your divine right as a human being to be sad
. Introduce yourself here in the forum